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Cuttlefish and Asparagus

6 Jul

For anyone who appreciates the South Park episode HUMANCENTiPAD or the film, The Human Centipede, you’ll shit bricks (hopefully not into someone’s mouth all centipede like) when you see this cute toy for the felines.

Let Your Kitty Chew on $100 - That's how much this feline fun runs.

Found on Etsy from the shop: EcoOdd

I Beewieeve in You!!!


Crazy Cat Lady Action

6 Jul

I have never wanted an action figure before until I saw this! In my opinion, she could be a little more crazy. Where’s the wrinkles, missing teeth, grey hair and must have cat scratches? Alas, she can never compare to the Simpson’s classic Cat Lady. So I’ll settle for the delight it will cause when guests spot this on my bookshelf.

For $17.00, you can have your very own Crazy Cat Lady action figure, complete with furry creatures ready to attack.

Get Me a Cat Lady!


The Vast Abyss of the TTC

6 May

Last night on my way home I took in the beautiful sight of a Monk. Yep, straight outta Robin Hood – there was Friar Tuck sitting across from me. He started up a friendly chat with a young lady like myself, and unlike her, I don’t trust so easily. What are the odds that I catch a Friar Tuck look-a-like on the TTC? Seems a little suspicious if you ask me. Right away, in my neurotic mind I’m imagining serial killer monk. Nonetheless, it was very entertaining.

The next morning I entered the most disgusting streetcar I have ever seen. It was the 501 Long Branch. If any TTC communications people see this post – It was the 4218.

Hair net to my left and directly in front of me on the back of a seat, was dried puke. Maybe from a night running as the Vomit Comet?

Not a mouse, nor a plop of poop. Although both are just as gross...a fucking hair net!

Nasty hair net - up close and personal

Vomit Comet Aftermath?

Up close and personal with the dried puke.

Sweet Tapes

3 May

Dope Domes

13 Apr

Anyone will tell you not wearing a condom feels amazing and if you’ve tried it – it’s very, very hard to go back to latex or lamb skin. As good as it feels, it’s  “fucking” risky man.

Condom shopping can be fun. Like penises, they come in many shapes, sizes and flirty features!

Here are some condoms for people who don’t want to wear a condom – all found on

Kimono MicroThin Condoms

Voted Men’s Health Magazine’s ‘Favorite Condom’, the Kimono concept is simple; thinner, more sensitive condoms that offer even more strength and reliability than the leading brands. The result is also simple, a better condom overall. The Micro Thin is newly re-designed to be even thinner, with a straight sided shape for more comfort, and quicker, easier use. Micro Thin condoms are enhanced by a silky water based lubricant that provides a smooth, ultra natural feeling. It’s significantly thinner than the competition, offering maximum transparency, sensitivity and feeling.

Ribbed for Her Pleasure

Her Pleasure Naked Sensations

A condom that takes her pleasure into account, the aptly named Naked Sensations Her Pleasure condoms boast a roomy comfort shape with a wider tip for more freedom of movement plus a special ribbed texture for extra stimulation. The feel is bare ultra thin and barely there, but keeps your partner and yourself securely protected. The addition of an UltraSmooth lubricant creates a silky touch that keeps things slick and sensitive.

Thintensity Warm Sensations

Uniquely shaped to provide more great-feeling freedom of movement, Trojan’s ThinTensity condom was designed for the most and best possible sensation during sex. A specially shaped top portion is longer and slightly larger where the head of the penis sits, providing a less restrictive feel, while remaining equally secure and delivering supreme protection with a reservoir tip. To take your pleasure even further, ThinTensity version of trusted Trojan is over 25% thinner for a barely-there sensation, plus, a silky smooth premium warming lubricant coats the inside and outside of the condom, helping things glide along smoothly while adding exciting heat.

All the Bells & Whistles:

Jimmy Jane Essentials Pleasure Set

For those times when the mood is perfect but the necessary tools are nowhere to be found, the Essential Pleasure Set by the always impressive JimmyJane collection has you covered. Inside, you’ll find 2 Durex condoms, a full sized 4ml(.13oz) packet of water based lubricant, and two Mine and Yours pleasure mints. The discreet little package won’t draw attention, so you can take it anywhere you go, because you just never know.

C-Case Condom Travel Container

From the B3 line of luxury pleasure tools comes the C-Case, a discreet pocket sized steel compact container that’s sized perfectly to hold condoms or pocket packs of lube. Since it fits into a pocket, purse or makeup bag with ease, you’ll always be ready for sexy adventures.

Naughty Knits

18 Mar

Knitted underthings.

Wall Feeler

13 Mar

Everyone needs a wall tentacle in their home. These wall feelers will cost you $1,100.00 each, but worth the bang for your buck. Especially if you’re already part pirate.

For more visit ArtAkimbo on Etsy: